My hair has grown back darker and curly. The steroids have puffed up my face a little, so it is rounder. Combined with my prosopagnosia, I can not recognize myself in the mirror anymore. At all. It is hard to express how weird this is. Intellectually, I know that the reflection in the mirror is me, and not some guy standing behind me, but I can not recognize myself. The reflection in the mirror seems like a complete stranger.
I am not the only one. Today a doctor came in that had worked with me last time I was here, (when I had no hair) but had not yet seen me for this visit. He looked right at me and asked, "Is Leif here?". He had thought that perhaps I was Leif's brother. I suppose that all of you that know me well will be able to recognize me from my picture below, but I tell you, it is weird not being able to recognize yourself in the mirror. For one thing, it makes it hard to shave. You don't want to do something like shave with someone else's image.
The lymphoma seems to be responding to the light chemo better than I expected. In the past, light chemo really has had little effect because the cancer is so aggressive. I am hoping that a large part of the effect that we are seeing is because the donor cells are off immune suppression and are getting into the fight. If this is the case, then the treatment that I am getting next week (the infusion of another 5 million donor cells) is likely to be effective in bringing me into remission and keeping me there. Go donor cells!
I am feeling a little better each day. There does not seem to be any more buildup of fluid in my lungs and I can breath freely. My pulse rate is down to a place that is no longer scary. I am a little low on blood, so that tends to lower my blood pressure and increase my heart rate. Last week my pulse was in the 130+ range, but now it is around 100 beats/min. Which is still fast, but not scary fast. Last week they gave me a lot of saline solution to increase my blood pressure, which it did, but it also made my legs into swollen sausage-like tubes. This has since gotten quite a bit better and I am able to go on short walks again.
Leif
I am not the only one. Today a doctor came in that had worked with me last time I was here, (when I had no hair) but had not yet seen me for this visit. He looked right at me and asked, "Is Leif here?". He had thought that perhaps I was Leif's brother. I suppose that all of you that know me well will be able to recognize me from my picture below, but I tell you, it is weird not being able to recognize yourself in the mirror. For one thing, it makes it hard to shave. You don't want to do something like shave with someone else's image.
Not the best shot, but you get the idea.
The lymphoma seems to be responding to the light chemo better than I expected. In the past, light chemo really has had little effect because the cancer is so aggressive. I am hoping that a large part of the effect that we are seeing is because the donor cells are off immune suppression and are getting into the fight. If this is the case, then the treatment that I am getting next week (the infusion of another 5 million donor cells) is likely to be effective in bringing me into remission and keeping me there. Go donor cells!
I am feeling a little better each day. There does not seem to be any more buildup of fluid in my lungs and I can breath freely. My pulse rate is down to a place that is no longer scary. I am a little low on blood, so that tends to lower my blood pressure and increase my heart rate. Last week my pulse was in the 130+ range, but now it is around 100 beats/min. Which is still fast, but not scary fast. Last week they gave me a lot of saline solution to increase my blood pressure, which it did, but it also made my legs into swollen sausage-like tubes. This has since gotten quite a bit better and I am able to go on short walks again.
Leif
Yes, it does sound weird! You could write a good book, you know? I hope the hell it has a happy ending. Go, donor cells!
ReplyDeleteYay for lower pulse rate; yay for feeling a bit better each day; yay for no more fluid build-up in your lungs; yay for breathing freely; yay for less swelling (fluid retention); yay for lymphoma responding to light chemo; yay for donor-cells collaborating with healthy cells; go body and donor cells!!!!
ReplyDeleteJust remember..,,you ARE a half blood prince, you know. Professor Snape would be proud.
ReplyDeleteNice. I have always wanted to be on Professor Snape's good side. He doesn't have anything particular against Ravenclaw does he?
DeleteYou look remarkably like Clark Kent in this picture. I expected to see a Superman cape in the background.
ReplyDeleteI first thought he looked like Benedict Cumberbatch, but you're right. He does bear a striking resemblance to Clark Kent - complete with Superman curl, though. ;)
DeleteLeif, if you need a cape, I'm right handy with a sewing machine. Just saying. It's not like you don't deserve one. I haven't been online much lately and have just tonight caught up here, but man. What a journey this has been for you. Keep fighting. Ravenclaw represent! Go, donor cells, go!
It's starting to sound like you're experiencing more of an "X-files" version of chimerism!
ReplyDeleteWell, there's two of us who won't be able to recognize you...
ReplyDeleteGo, donor cells, indeed. Crossing my fingers for remission!
ReplyDeleteAnd in spite of the fact that the camera flash rendered you ghostly white on my screen, you look great. I'll just start referring to you as the White Russian!