Long post - things are getting better.

It has been a rough week. Not to get too much into it, but my white blood cell count is nearly zero, and I developed a fever on top of everything else. The chemo takes it right out of me - I would say that on a good day I am at about 4% of what I could do previously, but these past two weeks I have been lucky to hit .4%. The infection/fever is now under control except for a bit of drippy nose and a raw throat.  To give a little snapshot of how ridiculous my life is right now, I had 2 units of blood and a unit of platelets Monday at the Waldo County Hospital (where I have my out-patient chemotherapy) . Tuesday I was headed to the hospital in Dartmouth to talk with the doctor that will be doing my stem-cell transplant. However, as we drove along, Becky called to let me know that she was worried because I was so pale when I left the house. I was looking at my palms and they were ivory white - the color of piano keys as were my lips. Becky talked to my primary oncologist who recommended that I go ahead and get some blood-work done (where they draw your blood and see if you are low in anything) in Brunswick (where I have my in-patient chemotherapy). So my blood-work came back and I am very low in everything important - red blood cells, platelets, and neutrophils (neutrophils are what fight infections if you don't have any white blood cells (technically lymphocytes, neutrophils and lymphocytes are both types of white blood cells) , which I don't since that is what is cancerous and the whole point of the chemotherapy is to kill those bastards off). So I had another 2 units of blood and 2 units of plasma. 

At Dartmouth, I had a informative discussion with Dr. Meehan, who asked a lot of questions and told me a bit about what might be to come. It all depends on different things, so I won't go into it at this time. But my throat was ragged-raw, and it really hurt to talk, so I was exhausted by the visit. After which we stayed with my Aunt-in-law, Pru. It was great to see her, but after about an hour I crashed for the night. In the morning, on the drive back, my lips and palms again were white, so we had to make an emergency stop in Brunswick for the second time for blood work. I took another 2 units of blood and unit of platelets. So in brief, while en-route from one hospital to another, I had to make an emergency stop at a hospital - in both directions.

I was obviously feeling poorly - I was in pain from my throat. I would say a "8.9" on the pain scale which means that I would have preferred carving "yes" and "no" into my skin with a scalpel and then just sanding the appropriate answer to the question. I tried to explain this to the nurse, who then asked endless questions - did I want ice? No. If I need anything, I will be sure to ask for it. All I want to do is sleep and not talk. Please don't ask me anything else. I am going to give you then next unit of blood, is that ok? Yes, that is why I signed a consent form for you to give me blood and the whole reason I am here. Please don't ask me to talk again - it causes me a lot of pain to talk. Did I want water? did I want some juice? how about apple juice? A blanket? maybe cranberry juice? And on and on and on. If i didn't answer she would sort of tap me on the shoulder and ask louder. Oh god, you are killing me. Just STOP.

So, that was exhausting. Very few things are more tiring than extreme pain on top of extreme fatigue. I slept for a good portion of yesterday, and then with my brother-in-law, Doug's help, and Keith (my father in law), we shlepped most of my tools from the lake cottage to my house, and Doug helped me clear the yard and get ready to build the door for the toolshed. I again slept today, and hope that perhaps tomorrow morning it will be cool, and we can make good progress on the door. It should not take very long since it is a simple project, but I am so much slower at everything these days. 

My throat is much better, and I don't seem to have a fever anymore either. I hope to have a few productive days before I go back into chemo on the 5th of July. I miss seeing all my friends, but until I get a neutrophil count that is closer to the normal range of 150-400 (I forget what the units are) I have to play it safe and limit my visits/visitors. My counts on the last two blood draws have been 4 and 7. Luckily, I have been spending most of my days since I got home sleeping, so the time goes by quickly.